


All Alone With You

by ceryses



Category: Amnesia (Game & Anime)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 13:36:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17529710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceryses/pseuds/ceryses
Summary: An expansion of Bad End 2 from the Diamond Universe. Alternatively, Bad End 3.Toma snaps.





	All Alone With You

**Author's Note:**

> It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair.
> 
> The pain became more than he could handle. It wasn't that you didn't know him, but that you knew someone else.
> 
> How could you?

_There’s no way we could ever_  
_love someone else, but_  
_We want someone to love us_  
_And even if yesterday went on unchanging_  
_We can’t go anywhere at all_  
_You and I._

-

‘You’re finally awake,’ he smiled gently, ‘you sure are a sleepyhead. Good morning.’

As customary, you extended your slender fingers through the bars to touch his warm, waiting hand briefly. The bars felt extra cold today, causing you to recoil. They weren’t always this cold - but you couldn’t remember a time when they hadn’t been, either.

Sitting up, you surveyed the person smiling tenderly at you - perhaps he was a treasured friend, or a lover. You no longer noticed the large cage that you rested in at all times; the outside seemed foreign and frightening. There was a window - someone could throw a heavy object to hurt you. A desk, a chair - things to bump into. A bed - warm, inviting, but not to be shared - least of all with him. Better to stay here, where nothing could hurt you. He said so. He was always right. You believed him. You always do.

‘Good morning…’ Your voice cracked from disuse. His charming smile fell slightly, replaced by something that looked like chagrin.

‘It’s the weekend now. What did you feel like doing? Shall I cook you something delicious?’ The boy scratched his flaxen hair sheepishly, still clutching your hand with the other. He peered straight into your vacant brown eyes. ‘Hey… do you remember my name today?’

‘Your… name?’

He waited patiently, smile never faltering. ‘That’s right. You used to call me it all the time, you know?’

You tried and tried to wrack your memory, but nothing bubbled up. Strange; this boy seemed important to you, and yet… ‘Um…’

The boy let out a sad laugh. ‘“Um” isn’t it, silly.’ He turned away to wipe at his golden eyes. ‘You know… I once said that I’d love you no matter what, and that’s still true, but… I never realised that it’d hurt this much.’

He let out a bitter laugh.

‘I’m sorry. I’ll try…’ You didn’t know what to say. You’d never seen him this fragile before. 

‘It’s okay. It’s all my fault anyway.’ He stood up and gave a shaky smile. ‘How about I make you some pancakes?’ 

‘Um... thank you…’ 

He suddenly looked very tired and lost, like a small child on the cusp of falling asleep. ‘I’ll get you out afterwards to change your bedding. It’s getting cold.’

‘Okay…’

True to his word, the pancakes did taste truly delicious. You savoured the sweetness, despite no longer knowing what the flavours were called. Looking pleased, he watched you closely as you ate until you were done. ‘Come on. I’ll let you out for a walk.’ The cage door opened.

You remained seated, uncomprehending. 

‘You used to beg to come out of there, you know?’ His handsome face betrayed an expression of self-loathing. ‘Should I pull you out? Give me your wrists.’

With a jolt of inspiration, before he could react, you crawled out and stumbled onto his bed. ‘Your… name. I think I remember.’ Your heart leapt; after all the time you’d spent thinking, you had it!

He gazed at you hungrily, happily. ‘Say it. Say my name.’ There was an expectant undertone to his words, as though he’d been waiting a small eternity to hear it. Maybe he had been. How would you know?

You took a deep breath and confidently declared it - ‘Shin.’ 

There was a sharp intake of breath, which wasn’t from you. His smile was gone. That look… that wasn’t anything close to a smile.

White-hot anger. Coal-black loathing. Rage, dusting cheeks like a fine spray of blood.

And pain. Oh God, so much pain.

His mouth trembled, somewhere between holding back tears and wanting to curse deities upon deities for inflicting this disaster. How had adoring you become… this? He had never done anything but love you, love you, _love you_ , **love you** until he was pretty sure it wasn’t possible to love anyone in the world more than he did, so why? 

_Why the fuck do you remember Shin more than me?_

You flinched as he shoved you spread-eagled on his bed. He was so heavy, pinning you with more force than necessary. It felt as though you were burning with the intensity of his tar gaze. ‘That,’ he growled, ‘is not it.’

‘Please… I’m sorry…’

‘No.’ His voice, normally so light and friendly, rang wintry and sure. ‘You don’t even know what you’re sorry for.’

A strong hand caressed your belly, shifting slowly to the curve of your breasts and finally your neck, where it grasped. Tightly. You coughed at the force of it, eyes widening. ‘Tell… me…’

‘It’s not your fault,’ he smiled darkly, eyes shadowed. ‘It’s not your fault, but you’re going to pay anyway. I’m going to end this all right here and now.’

‘Tell me… your name…’

He stared at you both dispassionately and lovingly as you coughed and choked and faded in his clutches, unable to breathe, _so beautiful_. His to love. His to break. ‘May you dream forever…’

When it was done, he tucked you into his bed and lay beside you, sobbing with grief. Even when you were cold, you were still precious to him; he muttered into your hair sweet nothings and cuddled you until his nose could no longer bear it. Days upon days passed; he thanked the persistent chill for your preservation, but the time had come.

It was a silent winter’s night as he perched upon the edge of the balcony, holding what remained. He knew, with great finality, that this was the only way to atone - to repay himself, to repay you. 

_I’ll always love you, no matter what. I can’t live without you._

Toma fell.

-

_You’ll never walk alone_  
_I’ll go with you_  
_No matter your sin,_  
_I’ll shoulder it for you_  
_I’ll walk the unpaved paths_  
_All alone with you._  


-

(Aforementioned song title by EGOIST)


End file.
